有一对老夫妻，相互扶持过了大半辈子。老爷子对老太太有一样不满，就是老太太总把面条煮得太烂。他已经不止一次叮嘱老太太：“不要把面条煮那么烂，只要煮5分钟就好。”可每天早上起床一看，餐桌上放的还是一碗软烂的面条。

There is an old couple who have supported each other for most of their lives. The old man has the same dissatisfaction with the old lady, that is, she always cooks the noodles badly. He has told the old lady more than once, "don't cook the noodles so bad, just cook them for five minutes." Can get up every morning to see, the table is still a bowl of soft rotten noodles.

老头忍无可忍，决定自己亲自煮一碗面条，只煮5分钟，面条刚刚好。

The old man couldn't bear it. He decided to cook a bowl of noodles himself, only for 5 minutes. The noodles were just right.

他连忙去叫还在卧室的老太太：“快起来！我今天非要让你看看，面条怎么样煮才不会烂！”老太太赖在床上说：“不！我今天非要让你看看，一碗煮好的面条是怎么放烂的！”

He hurriedly called the old lady who was still in the bedroom: "get up! I have to show you how to cook the noodles today The old lady leans on the bed and says, "no! Today, I have to show you how a bowl of cooked noodles can go bad! "

原来，平日里老爷子总嫌老太太笨手笨脚，连一碗面条都煮不好。但其实是他自己每天赖床，硬生生把一碗煮好的面条给放烂了。

It turns out that the old man always thinks that the old lady is so clumsy that he can't cook a bowl of noodles well. But in fact, he sleeps in bed every day and puts a bowl of cooked noodles to pieces.

感情出现矛盾的时候，最怕彼此都认为自己没错，一味指责，互相埋怨，把日子过成了怒气冲冲，把生活过成了愁眉紧锁。

When there is a contradiction in feelings, we are most afraid that we all think we are right. We just blame each other and complain about each other. We have turned our lives into anger and frowning.

婚姻有时候像座山，横看成岭侧成峰。若是只站在自己的角度看问题，既看不到对方的付出，也看不到事情的全部。

Sometimes marriage is like a mountain, and it can be seen as a peak on the side of the mountain. If you only look at the problem from your own perspective, you can neither see the other party's efforts nor see the whole thing.

所以，不要总盯着对方的错处，而是多想想自己的不足；不要总看着对方的短处，而是多检讨自己的缺点。一味挑剔别人的错，只会把一段感情压垮；多从自己身上找原因，才能缓和关系。

Therefore, don't always look at each other's mistakes, but think about your own shortcomings; don't always look at each other's shortcomings, but review your own shortcomings. Only by criticizing others' mistakes can we crush a relationship; only by finding reasons from ourselves can we ease the relationship.

还看过这样一个故事：有个阿姨，平日里总是抱怨对面的阿姨很懒惰，“那个女人的衣服永远洗不干净。看，她晾在外院子里的衣服总是有斑点。我实在不明白，她怎么连洗衣服都洗成那个样子。”

I also read a story about an aunt who always complains that the opposite aunt is lazy. "That woman's clothes can never be washed clean. Look, the clothes she's hanging out in the yard are always spotted. I really don't understand how she even does the laundry like that. "

直到有一天，有个明察秋毫的朋友到她家，才发现事实并非如此。朋友拿了一块抹布，把这个阿姨窗户上的灰渍抹掉，说：“你看，这不就干净了吗？”

Until one day, a discerning friend came to her house and found out that it was not the case. My friend took a rag and wiped out the ash stains on the aunt's window. He said, "look, isn't it clean?"

原来，不是对面的阿姨衣服洗不干净，而是这位阿姨自家的窗户脏了。

It turned out that it wasn't the aunt on the opposite side who couldn't wash her clothes, but the aunt's own window was dirty.

有时候出了差错，我们总觉得是别人的不对，殊不知，是自己出了问题。

Sometimes when something goes wrong, we always think it's someone else's fault, but we don't know that it's our own fault.

刚工作不久的表妹，最近就没少跟我们抱怨工作上的事。她说，老板太苛刻，同事难相处，客户难伺候。刚工作不到一个月，便嚷嚷着想辞职。

My cousin, who has just worked for a long time, has not complained about our work recently. She said that the boss is too harsh, colleagues are difficult to get along with, and customers are difficult to serve. Just after working for less than a month, he clamoured to resign.

但其实，是因为她时常丢三落四，误了工作，老板才教训了她一顿；因为她没能及时完成团队任务，而害同事跟着加班，人家才不愿搭理她；因为她和客户见面时迟到了半小时，对方才给她脸色看……

But in fact, the boss taught her a lesson because she often left behind and missed her work; because she failed to complete the team task in time, and her colleagues worked overtime, people would not take care of her; because she was half an hour late when she met with clients, the other side showed her face

喜欢抱怨的人，只会一味沉浸在坏情绪当中，非但不能改善局面，还会让自己持续沉沦。

Those who like to complain will only immerse themselves in the bad mood, not only can't improve the situation, but also will let themselves continue to sink.

与其花心思抱怨，不如花时间自省。就如有句话所说：“静坐常思己过，闲谈莫论人非。”自我反省就像一面镜子，让我们能清清楚楚地看到自己的错误，从而找到新的出口和出路。

It's not like taking the time to introspect. As a saying goes, "sit still and think about yourself. Don't talk about others." Self reflection is like a mirror, so that we can clearly see our mistakes, so as to find a new exit and way out.

俗话说：“小人无错，君子常过。”

As the saying goes: "villains are not wrong, gentlemen often pass."

层次低的人，总觉得错在别人，自己没有错；而层次高的人，则常常反省自己的过错。一个人只有放低自己的姿态，才能拔高自己的人生。

People at lower levels always feel that others are the fault, and they are not wrong; people at higher levels often reflect on their own faults. Only by lowering one's attitude can one elevate one's life.

就如《孟子》所云：“行有不得，反求诸己。”事情搞砸了、关系弄僵了，不要一味指责别人，先从自己身上找原因。

As Mencius said, "if you can't do something, turn to yourself." When things are screwed up and relationships are frozen, don't just blame others. First, find the reason from yourself.

善于自我反思的人，才能站得更高、走得更远。自以为是，不是本事；常思己过，才能改掉错处、有所进步。

Only those who are good at self reflection can stand higher and go further. Self righteousness is not a skill; only by thinking too much about yourself can we get rid of our mistakes and make progress.

凡事先从自己身上找原因，把不足一点点地转化为优势，把矛盾一点点转化为和气。你的那些领悟，都会变成你为自己铺的路。

First of all, we should find the reasons from ourselves, turn the shortcomings into advantages, and turn the contradictions into harmony. Your understanding will become the road you pave for yourself.

来源：十点读书（ID：duhaoshu） | 作者：夕夕酱