那天，出去散步是不可能了。其实，早上我们还在光秃秃的灌木林中溜达了一个小时，但从午饭时起（无客造访时，里德太太很早就用午饭）便刮起了冬日凛冽的寒风，随后阴云密布，大雨滂沱，室外的活动也就只能作罢了。

It was impossible to go out for a walk that day. In fact, we spent an hour walking in the bare shrubbery in the morning, but from lunchtime (when Mrs. Reed had lunch very early on when no visitors visited), there was a bitter winter wind, then clouds and heavy rain, and outdoor activities had to be stopped.

我倒是求之不得。我向来不喜欢远距离散步，尤其在冷飕飕的下午。试想，阴冷的薄暮时分回得家来，手脚都冻僵了，还要受到保姆贝茵的数落，又自觉体格不如伊丽莎、约翰和乔治亚娜，心里既难过又惭愧，那情形委实可怕。

I can't ask for it. I have never liked long walks, especially in cold afternoons. Imagine returning home in the cold twilight, frozen limbs and stiff feet, suffering from the loss of baby-sitter Bain, and conscious that her physique was not as good as that of Eliza, John and Georgiana. She was sad and ashamed, and the situation was terrible.

此时此刻，刚才提到的伊丽莎、约翰和乔治亚娜都在客厅里，簇拥着他们的妈妈。她则斜倚在炉边的沙发上，身旁坐着自己的小宝贝们（眼下既未争吵也未哭叫），一副安享天伦之乐的神态。而我呢，她恩准我不必同他们坐在一起了，说是她很遗憾，不得不让我独个儿在一旁呆着。要是没有亲耳从贝茜那儿听到，并且亲眼看到，我确实在尽力养成一种比较单纯随和的习性，活泼可爱的举止，也就是更开朗、更率直、更自然些，那她当真不让我享受那些只配给予快乐知足的孩子们的特权了。

At this moment, Eliza, John and Georgiana are all in the living room, surrounded by their mothers. She leaned on the sofa by the fireside and sat beside her babies (neither quarrelling nor crying) in a happy manner. And for me, she allowed me not to sit with them, saying that she was sorry to have to leave me alone. If I hadn't heard it from Bessie and seen it with my own eyes, I would have tried my best to develop a more simple and easy-going, lively and lovely manner, that is, a more outgoing, straightforward and natural one, then she would not have allowed me to enjoy the privileges of children who only deserve to be happy and contented.

“贝茵说我干了什么啦？”我问。

"What did Bein say I did?" I asked.

“简，我不喜欢吹毛求疵或者刨根究底的人，更何况小孩子家这么跟大人顶嘴实在让人讨厌。找个地方去坐着，不会和气说话就别张嘴。”

"Jane, I don't like people who are critical or thorough, and it's really annoying that children talk back to adults like that. Find a place to sit, and don't open your mouth if you can't speak in harmony."

客厅的隔壁是一间小小的餐室，我溜了进去。里面有一个书架。不一会儿，我从上面拿下一本书来，特意挑插图多的，爬上窗台，缩起双脚，像土耳其人那样盘腿坐下，将红色的波纹窗帘几乎完全拉拢，把自己加倍隐蔽了起来。

Next to the living room was a small dining room, and I slipped in. There is a bookshelf in it. In a few moments, I took a book from it, deliberately picked out many illustrations, climbed up the window sill, retracted my feet, sat cross-legged like the Turks, drew the red corrugated curtains almost completely together, and doubled my cover.

在我右侧，绯红色窗幔的皱褶档住了我的视线；左侧，明亮的玻璃窗庇护着我，使我既免受十一月阴沉天气的侵害，又不与外面的世界隔绝，在翻书的间隙，我抬头细看冬日下午的景色。只见远方白茫茫一片云雾，近处湿漉漉一块草地和受风雨袭击的灌木。一阵持久而凄厉的狂风，驱赶着如注的暴雨，横空归过。

On my right, the wrinkles of the crimson curtain obscured my view; on the left, the bright glass window sheltered me from the gloomy November weather and the outside world. In the gap between turning over the books, I looked up at the scenery of the winter afternoon. In the distance, there was a vast white cloud, a wet grassland and shrubs attacked by the wind and rain. A long and bitter gust of wind drove away the torrential rain and passed across the sky.

我重又低头看书，那是本比尤伊克的《英国鸟类史》。文字部份我一般不感兴趣，但有几页导言，虽说我是孩子，却不愿当作空页随手翻过。内中写到了海鸟生息之地；写到了只有海鸟栖居的“孤零零的岩石和海岬”；写到了自南端林纳斯尼斯，或纳斯，至北角都遍布小岛的挪威海岸：

I looked down again at a book called The History of British Birds by Bieuyk. I am generally not interested in the text, but there are several introductory pages. Although I am a child, I do not want to turn them over as empty pages. In the book, the place where seabirds live, the "lonely rocks and headlands" where only seabirds live, and the Norwegian coast from Linnasnis, or Nass, at the southern end, to the northern corner of the island are written:

那里，北冰洋掀起的巨大漩涡，咆哮在极地光秃凄凉约小岛四周。而大西洋的汹涌波涛，泻入了狂暴的赫布里底群岛。

There, the huge whirlpools of the Arctic Ocean roar around the bare and desolate islands in the polar region. The turbulent waves of the Atlantic poured into the violent Hebrides.

还有些地方我也不能看都不看，一翻而过，那就是书中提到的拉普兰、西伯利亚、斯匹次卑尔根群岛、新地岛、冰岛和格陵兰荒凉的海岸。“广袤无垠的北极地带和那些阴凄凄的不毛之地，宛若冰雪的储存库。千万个寒冬所积聚成的坚冰，像阿尔卑斯山的层层高峰，光滑晶莹，包围着地极，把与日俱增的严寒汇集于一处。”我对这些死白色的地域，已有一定之见，但一时难以捉摸，仿佛孩子们某些似懂非懂的念头，朦朦胧胧浮现在脑际，却出奇地生动，导言中的这几页文字，与后面的插图相配，使兀立于大海波涛中的孤岩，搁浅在荒凉海岸上的破船，以及透过云带俯视着沉船的幽幽月光，更加含义隽永了。

There are other places that I can't look at without looking at. They are the desolate coasts of Lapland, Siberia, Spitsbergen Islands, New Territories, Iceland and Greenland mentioned in the book. "The vast Arctic and those bleak and barren places are like ice and snow storehouses. Tens of millions of cold winters accumulate hard ice, like the Alpine peaks, smooth and glittering, surrounded by the polar, bringing together the increasing cold. I have some opinions about these dead and white areas, but for a time it is difficult to understand them, as if some children's seemingly unintelligible ideas, vague and vivid, but surprisingly vivid, the introduction of these pages of text, with the illustrations behind, so that stand alone in the waves of the sea, stranded on the desolate coast. The broken ship and the gloomy moonlight overlooking the wrecked ship through the cloud belt are more meaningful.

我说不清一种什么样的情调弥漫在孤寂的墓地：刻有铭文的墓碑、一扇大门、两棵树、低低的地平线、破败的围墙。一弯初升的新月，表明时候正是黄昏。

I can't tell what kind of sentiment pervades the lonely cemetery: inscribed tombstones, a gate, two trees, a low horizon, a broken wall. A rising crescent moon indicates that it is dusk.

两艘轮船停泊在水波不兴的海面上，我以为它们是海上的鬼怪。

Two ships were moored on the unsteady sea. I thought they were sea ghosts.

魔鬼从身后按住窃贼的背包，那模样实在可怕，我赶紧翻了过去。

The devil pressed the burglar's backpack from behind. It looked terrible. I turned it over quickly.

一样可怕的是，那个头上长角的黑色怪物，独踞于岩石之上，远眺着一大群人围着绞架。

As terrible as that, the black monster with long horns on his head, standing alone on the rocks, overlooked a large crowd of people around the gallows.

每幅画都是一个故事、由于我理解力不足，欣赏水平有限，它们往往显得神秘莫测，但无不趣味盎然，就像某些冬夜，贝茜碰巧心情不错时讲述的故事一样。遇到这种时候，贝茵会把烫衣桌搬到保育室的壁炉旁边，让我们围着它坐好。她一面熨里德太太的网眼饰边，把睡帽的边沿烫出褶裥来，一面让我们迫不及待地倾听她一段段爱情和冒险故事，这些片段取自于古老的神话传说和更古老的歌谣，或者如我后来所发现，来自《帕美拉》和《莫兰伯爵亨利》。

Each painting is a story. Because of my lack of understanding and limited appreciation, they often seem mysterious and unpredictable, but they are full of interest, just like the stories that Bessie told when she happened to be in a good mood on some winter nights. When this happens, Bein will move the ironing table to the fireplace in the nursery and let us sit around it. As she ironed Mrs. Reed's mesh trim and wrinkled the edges of her nightcap, she made us eager to listen to her love and adventure stories from old myths and legends and more ancient ballads, or, as I later discovered, from Palmera and Count Moran Henry.

当时，我膝头摊着比尤伊克的书，心里乐滋滋的，至少是自得其乐，就怕别人来打扰。但打扰来得很快，餐室的门开了。

At that time, I had Bieuyk's books on my knees, and I was happy, at least for myself, for fear of being disturbed. But the interruption came quickly, and the dining room door opened.

“嘘！苦恼小姐！”约翰·里德叫唤着，随后又打住了，显然发觉房间里空无一人。

"Shh! Miss Pain!" John Reed called and then stopped, apparently finding the room empty.

“见鬼，上哪儿去了呀？”他接着说。“丽茜！乔琪！”（喊着他的姐妹）“琼不在这儿呐，告诉妈妈她窜到雨地里去了，这个坏畜牲！”

"Hell, where have you been?" He went on. "Lizzie! Jorge!" (Calling out to his sister) "Joan is not here. Tell her mother she's gone into the rain, this bad beast!"

“幸亏我拉好了窗帘，”我想。我真希望他发现不了我的藏身之地。约翰·里德自己是发现不了的，他眼睛不尖，头脑不灵。可惜伊丽莎从门外一探进头来，就说：

"Fortunately, I drew the curtains," I thought. I wish he could not find my hiding place. John Reed couldn't find it himself. He didn't have sharp eyes and a bad head. Unfortunately, as soon as Eliza poked her head through the door, she said:

“她在窗台上，准没错，杰克。”

"She's on the windowsill, that's right, Jack."

我立即走了出来，因为一想到要被这个杰克硬拖出去，身子便直打哆嗦。

I walked out at once, trembling at the thought of being dragged out by this Jack.

“什么事呀？”我问，既尴尬又不安。

"What's the matter?" I asked, embarrassed and uneasy.

“该说，什么事呀，里德‘少爷？’”便是我得到的回答。“我要你到这里来，”他在扶手椅上坐下，打了个手势，示意我走过去站到他面前。

"What's the matter, Master Reed?" That's the answer I got. "I want you to come here," he sat down in the armchair, gestured, and motioned me over to stand in front of him.

约翰·里德是个十四岁的小学生，比我大四岁，因为我才十岁。论年龄，他长得又大又胖，但肤色灰暗，一付病态。脸盘阔，五官粗，四肢肥，手膨大。还喜欢暴饮暴食，落得个肝火很旺，目光迟钝，两颊松弛。这阵子，他本该呆在学校里，可是他妈把他领了回来，住上—、两个月，说是因为“身体虚弱”。但他老师迈尔斯先生却断言，要是家里少送些糕点糖果去，他会什么都很好的，做母亲的心里却讨厌这么刻薄的话，而倾向于一种更随和的想法，认为约翰是过于用功，或许还因为想家，才弄得那么面色蜡黄的。

John Reed is a fourteen-year-old pupil, four years older than me, because I am only ten years old. In terms of age, he is big and fat, but his complexion is gray and morbid. His face is broad, his facial features are thick, his limbs are fat and his hands are enlarged. He also likes to eat and drink too much. He is very angry, his eyes are dull and his cheeks are flabby. For a while, he should have stayed at school, but his mother brought him back and stayed for two months, saying that he was "weak". But his teacher, Mr. Miles, asserted that if there were fewer cakes and candies at home, everything would be fine. Mothers hated such harsh words, and tended to think that John worked too hard, perhaps because he was homesick, to make him look so yellow.

约翰对母亲和姐妹们没有多少感情，而对我则很厌恶。他欺侮我，虐待我，不是一周三两次，也不是一天一两回，而是经常如此。弄得我每根神经都怕他，他一走运，我身子骨上的每块肌肉都会收缩起来。有时我会被他吓得手足无措，因为面对他的恐吓和欺侮，我无处哭诉。佣人们不愿站在我一边去得罪他们的少爷，而里德太太则装聋作哑，儿子打我骂我，她熟视无睹，尽管他动不动当着她的面这样做，而背着她的时候不用说就更多了。

John has little affection for his mother and sisters, but he hates me very much. He bullied and abused me not three or two times a week or once or twice a day, but often. Every nerve of mine was afraid of him. Luckily, every muscle in my bones would contract. Sometimes I would be frightened by him, because in the face of his intimidation and bullying, I can not cry. The servants did not want to stand by me to offend their young master, while Mrs. Reed pretended to be deaf and dumb, and her son beat me and scolded me. She turned a blind eye to me, although he did so in front of her, not to mention more when he was carrying her.

我对约翰已惯于逆来顺受，因此便走到他椅子跟前。他费了大约三分钟，拼命向我伸出舌头，就差没有绷断舌根。我明白他会马上下手，一面担心挨打，一面凝视着这个就要动手的人那付令人厌恶的丑态。我不知道他看出了我的心思没有，反正他二话没说，猛然间狠命揍我。我一个踉跄，从他椅子前倒退了一两步才站稳身子。

I was used to being obedient to John, so I went to his chair. It took him about three minutes to stretch out his tongue to me, and he almost didn't break the root of his tongue. I knew he would start right away, worried about being beaten, and gazing at the disgusting ugliness of the man who was about to start. I don't know if he saw my mind, but he didn't say anything and hit me hard. I staggered one or two steps back from his chair before I could get on my feet.

“这是对你的教训，谁叫你刚才那么无礼跟妈妈顶嘴，”他说，“谁叫你鬼鬼祟祟躲到窗帘后面，谁叫你两分钟之前眼光里露出那付鬼样子，你这耗子！”

"It's a lesson for you, who told you to talk back to your mother so rudely just now," he said. "Who told you to sneak behind the curtain, who told you to look like that two minutes ago, you mouse!"

我已经习惯于约翰·里德的谩骂，从来不愿去理睬，一心只想着加何去忍受辱骂以后必然接踪而来的殴打。

I have become accustomed to John Reed's abuse and have never been willing to listen to it. I just want to think about how to endure the beatings that will inevitably follow after the abuse.

“你躲在窗帘后面干什么？”他问。

"What are you doing behind the curtains?" He asked.

“在看书。”

"Reading."

“把书拿来。”

"Bring me the book."

我走回窗前把书取来。

I went back to the window and fetched the book.

“你没有资格动我们的书。妈妈说的，你靠别人养活你，你没有钱，你爸爸什么也没留给你，你应当去讨饭，而不该同像我们这样体面人家的孩子一起过日子，不该同我们吃一样的饭，穿妈妈掏钱给买的衣服。现在我要教训你，让你知道翻我们书架的好处。这些书都是我的，连整座房子都是，要不过几年就归我了。滚，站到门边去，离镜子和窗子远些。”

"You are not qualified to move our books. Mother said, you depend on others to support you, you have no money, your father left you nothing, you should go begging, and not with decent children like us live together, not with us to eat the same meal, wear the clothes mother paid for. Now I'm going to teach you the benefits of turning over our shelves. These books are all mine, even the whole house. They will be mine in a few years. Roll, stand by the door, away from the mirror and the window."

我照他的话做了，起初并不知道他的用意。但是他把书举起，拿稳当了，立起身来摆出要扔过来的架势时，我一声惊叫，本能地往旁边一闪，可是晚了、那本书己经扔过来，正好打中了我，我应声倒下，脑袋撞在门上，碰出了血来，疼痛难忍。我的恐惧心理已经越过了极限，被其他情感所代替。

I did as he said, and at first I didn't know what he meant. But when he lifted the book up, took it firmly, and stood up to throw it over, I screamed and instinctively flashed aside, but it was too late. The book had been thrown and hit me. I fell down, hit my head on the door, hit the blood, and the pain was unbearable. My fear has gone beyond the limit and has been replaced by other emotions.

“你是个恶毒残暴的孩子！”我说。“你像个杀人犯——你是个奴隶监工——你像罗马皇帝！”

"You are a vicious and cruel child!" I said. "You're like a murderer - you're a slave Supervisor - you're like the emperor of Rome!"

我读过哥尔斯密的《罗马史》，时尼禄、卡利古拉等人物已有自己的看法，并暗暗作过类比，但决没有想到会如此大声地说出口来。

When I read Goldsmith's History of Rome, Nero, Caligula and others had their own opinions and made secret analogies, but I never expected to speak out so loudly.

“什么！什么！”他大叫大嚷。“那是她说的吗？伊丽莎、乔治亚娜，你们可听见她说了？我会不去告诉妈妈吗？不过我得先——”

"What! What! " He shouted. "Is that what she said? Eliza, Georgiana, can you hear her? Will I not tell my mother? But first I have to-"

他向我直冲过来，我只觉得他抓住了我的头发和肩膀，他跟一个拼老命的家伙扭打在一起了。我发现他真是个暴君，是个杀人犯。我觉得一两滴血从头上顺着脖子淌下来，感到一阵热辣辣的剧痛。这些感觉一时占了上风，我不再畏惧，而发疯似地同他对打起来。我不太清楚自己的双手到底干了什么，只听得他骂我“耗子！耗子！”一面杀猪似地嚎叫着。他的帮手近在咫尺，伊丽莎和乔治亚娜早已跑出去讨救兵，里德太太上了楼梯，来到现场，后面跟随着贝茜和女佣艾博特。她们我们拉开了，我只听见她们说：

He came straight to me, and I just thought he had grabbed my hair and shoulders, and he was wrestling with a desperate fellow. I found him a real tyrant, a murderer. I felt a drop or two of blood running down my neck from my head, and I felt a sharp, hot pain. These feelings prevailed for a moment, and I was no longer afraid, but frantically attacked him. I don't know exactly what my hands did. I just heard him scold me "Mouse!" Mouse!" Howling like a pig. His assistants were close at hand. Eliza and Georgiana had already run out for help. Mrs. Reed went up the stairs and came to the scene, followed by Bessie and Abbott, the maid. We pulled them away, and I only heard them say:

“哎呀！哎呀！这么大的气出在约翰少爷身上：”

"Ouch! Oh dear! Such a great deal of anger came from Master John.

“谁见过那么火冒三丈的！”

"Who's ever seen such a fury!"

随后里德太太补充说：

Then Mrs. Reed added:

“带她到红房子里去，关起来。”于是马上就有两双手按住了我，把我推上楼去。

"Take her to the red house and shut her up." Immediately, two hands pressed me and pushed me upstairs.